Thursday, November 28, 2013

I was having a ball until 1st of November 2012.

Probably a year before this I felt a small bean size lump between my left groin. Didn't think much of it at that time thinking it's just a bit of fat deposit. Boy how I regret that scenario...It's the man bloody thing about going to see the Doctor. And being in a spot where it was just couldn't see my self going with that procedure.
What was happening is when I was going for a drive and came out from the truck or car I felt pins and needles in my groin. Again thinking I'm getting old...:)...It went away after little stretch and walk around. Can you believe I put up with this for more than a year...What a waste of precious time.

During that time I had a wonderful holiday in Tasmania...It was fantastic I remember being so happy to be there. I definitely made a decision while I was still there that I'm coming back one day...One day if I get a chance I will go back, So much I didn't get to see just no time 10 days is just not enough for such beauty like Tasmania. I also after so many years of dreaming bought my self a caravan and 4wd to fulfill my dream of going around the block (Australia coast). everything was going as they say according to plan...:).

I remember 1st of November well It's my sons birthday. as I was driving to the depot I was thinking great there will be cake and lots of munchies not to mention my favorite VB bear. As I arrived and hoped out of the truck I nearly fell to knees, I had no control over my left leg walking around and stretching was sent working it took about half hour for it to be able to support my wight. This time there was pain in a groin area that I haven't felt before and it was sent going away. I got home with a obvious limp in my leg and my partner knew what it was about...Did I get a spray you dam right I did. It went something like how many times did I tell you to go and see the Doctor about that lump...and so on. By morning it was getting worse, I rang work and explained the situation and by 9am I was in the hospital waiting room.

I got in and finely the Dr came and after checking my lump and number of other places she said she needs another Dr to haw a look. before I knew what was happening there was more than just another DR they coaled in a specialist in blood cancer. I didn't know who was who until specialist Dr told me what he dose.
And I went back over the examination thinking they were looking for more lumps in my jaw and color bone area. That's when I realized this is serous, something is terribly wrong with what they found. I was right I had lumps everywhere, the way lymphoma works it latches out to all the nodes on the nerve system. It was a total disaster and a shock that is just unexplainable and indescribable.

They suggested CT scan and number other things so it was a long day in my life if you can imagine being there with all this information that just dose not make any sense to me at least. It was 3ed of November Saturday I remember waiting for ever for the result...So i said i need fresh air they said OK as long as I go in a wheel chair because I was still a little unstable on my left leg...I said no problem anything just to get out to haw that fag...:)...i just finished a smoke and one DR came out to talk to me and my partner (Rozy). He was sent beating around a bush aether straight to point he was. "So you are up to date with the lumps you haw it is evident that you haw lymphoma blood cancer, the CT scan shows the major abstraction is in your stomach and it's not small it's the size of a volleyball" ...I never will forget that the size of a volleyball its so fucking big and it's right amongst my major organs the bustard of the thing has set itself to stay put...

I had to wait till Monday 5 November to see my specialist to explain this thing in bit more detail. You can just imagine the thoughts i had during that time. i remember being really dark on my self for waiting so long do check that lump out. I think It was a biggest mistake in my life, I don't think I know it is. I was thinking yes, just what he will tell me how long haw I got that preoccupied my mind pretty much all weekend. We finely got there and it was like waiting for that estimate of just how long and it got there in no time. It went something like If this works if that works we are talking about treatments it could be anything up to 15 years if it goes well or 5 years to something lower...Wow that's a bugger when you life is put to a scale and there is not much to weigh up. I was 55 then and first thing came to my mind is will I live to see my pension can you believe that...

Over the next days I was in a lot of pain. We had to get the sample of this lump to confirm everything and at the same time we needed to get the swelling down from my groin area with steroids and number of other drugs before we can start with treatment. You probably wondering what swelling but I can tell you that from first of November till 5th everything went up side down...It was as the monster within me has sensed that we are going to attack it with everything we got. And the bustard started to complain by reacting with symptoms of it's own. My specialist suggested this new drug that was supposedly one step ahead of what we got some German invention I can't name it cos i had to sign my life away for secrecy crap. It was on trail at Austin Hospital in Melbourne. Before I forget I need to tell the people of Australia at least that if you chose to go on trail drug of any kind you will lose all the rights as far any benefits that come you way under normal treatment.For example you don't qualify for travel allowance...can you believe that crap that is just one item...

So after thinking about that new drug it's a no brainer that you want the best thing going around when it comes to you life being on the line don't you think so? Even if it involved in so much travel to Melbourne and back to Warrnambool round trip of 500km. And it was mostly weekly...Oh they told me it's monthly but who was to see the problems ahead especially with my luck so it ended up in weekly trips. It all happened so quickly that as soon as my swelling went down I was on the way to Melbourne for my first treatment at least that's what the plan was....End of chapter one...Cheers I'll be back Roy...:)))


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